At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
