i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
