and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
