i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
