I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
