I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
