just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
