All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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