You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
