Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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