Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
