I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
