Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
