you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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