Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
there is puke in my bra ... again
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
