so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I cut my penus on the lid.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Randomize
