Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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