she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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