Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize