Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
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