I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
