So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
