the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
