I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
