Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
