and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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