I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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