super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
