Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
