He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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