I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
He has the fingertips of a God
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