sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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