It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i love accidental penises.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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