You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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