im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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