i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
do herpes really smell.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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