I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
