You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
