It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
