So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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