I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
two words: eviction party
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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