just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
