i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
