I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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