The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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