We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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