I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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