exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
