Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
