girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
